Waking Up

Today
I woke up Jewish.

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November 27, 2008

Today was Thanksgiving. We had the in laws over. We made no big announcement but kinda mentioned to a few people what I would be doing on Friday while the rest of America was shopping. I went to bed thinking about life after changing my status on Facebook to say that I was saying Goodbye to Christianity....one Christian at a time. I did not do that. I did not do any symbolic gesture to say goodbye to any of my past. I always thought I would. I meant to go to Mass one last time. I meant to leave some religious statues that I ended up with after my mom died at San Xavier Mission. I just didn't have time for any of that and haven't missed Catholicism.

November 28, 2008

I woke up thinking about going shopping but changed my mind and went back to sleep. I woke up later and decided today would be a good day to watch High School Musical 2 so that we could celebrate later by going to the movies to see HSM3. Watching a movie with my daughters was a fun way to spend the morning. Eventually it was time to get ready quickly because the lounge around attitude was catching up to us and we were going to be late if we didn't start moving. We only had fights about my 7 year old not wearing earrings, who needed to shower first, and who got what towel to get in the way. I let my daughters shower while I took off my nail polish. I was told to take off all piercings, no make up, shower just before heading over, etc. Nail polish was okay, but I wanted to take it off.

When we got there one of the other women converting was just getting started. An older black woman with no family with her. I'm not sure what was her reasoning for doing this, but have been curious. Maybe someday I will ask. I did tease her before about having extra piercings when Rabbi B asked us to make sure we took "any and all piercings off prior to the Mikveh" as she glared at me. Her Mikveh was over quickly and we all got to yell "Mazel Tov" when she was finished. And sing a song that sounds like you are repeating "Cinnamon Toast and Marble Toast" over and over. It was a song I had heard at my son's Bris and my daughters' baby naming ceremonies.

My stomach was in knots. Was it the conversion? No. It was still the nudity thing. And wondering if my sometimes stubborn daughter was going to change her mind just before going in. Rabbi B joked about me removing any "unseen" piercings. I joked that my husband removed them earlier...with his teeth. We had a quick tour with the other family doing the same thing after us. It was a small room with a small but about 4 foot deep pool. It had 7 steps leading into the main part. There was an area where rain water was collected to make the Mikveh Kosher. The water was warm. We were ready. I went into the dressing room (ummm....un-dressing room) with my daughters. We got all naked. The girls went pee (good idea. One of the witnesses, a man from our congregation, said they might have a sign saying, "We don't do blessings in your toilet, so please don't pee in our Mikveh."), and we went into the room with the Mikveh.

Rabbi B. started calling back to see if we were ready. It took awhile to get the girls in the water because it was warmer than they were used to. Eventually we let Rabbi B know we were ready. I went first. There were prayers to read (I did pretty well because many of the words were the same as the prayer for bread), and three complete dunkings to do. I had to stand away from the sides (can't touch anything), fingers and toes and legs spread, and everything must go under (and my hair is longer right now). After I went my two daughters went. They were a formality--like my son--because they were converted by a mohel when they were younger, but some people feel the Mikveh is a necessary final step. We were always waiting to do it together.

After we were done our Rabbi started to leave the room and the girls did not want to get out of the Mikveh. Rabbi B forgot to mention something and came back in as the three of us were doing a very tiny lap of the backstroke...that was a little embarrassing. Nothing she hasn't seen before though, right?

My son went by himself. My husband was in the room for him, but he was in the Mikveh alone. Another male witness from our congregation went in the room to make sure he submerged enough. I kept hearing my son coughing on the water. He's 11 years old and still needed to be reminded not to drink the pool water.

When we were done we got the Cinnamon Toast and Marble Toast song and one of the witnesses said, "You are stuck with us now." And I reminded him that he was also stuck with me! He only seemed mildly frightened.

Rabbi B gave us all necklaces. The kids were given mezuzahs on chains and I was given a Star of David.

And did I mention that a really good friend of mine came with us? She didn't witness the Mikveh in the same room, but she was there for moral support and for the experience. This was the friend of mine that sat with me when my son had brain surgery two years ago, so it seemed very perfect to me for her to be my own personal witness to this event. She had to get back to her kids after, but the kids, hubby, and I went to celebrate the occasion...our own way.

We ate at a favorite local place and I drank a Margarita from the menu of "Limit 2 Margaritas" and they were not kidding! Then we went to see HSM3!

When we got home we decided that my husband needed his own Mikveh in our soaking tub. And did I mention that he had never "been with" a Jewish chick before? We took care of that.

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Today.

I woke up Jewish. It was a lot like waking up 40 and wondering what all the hoopla was about. I've done nothing different. I've been catching up on laundry. Surfing the net. And looking at lot of ads for holiday decorations. The kids are still the same. I'm still the same only I feel a little different. I feel unsure. But it's silly -- it's about how people that don't know me will act when I say for the first time that I'm Jewish. Will I say it with a disclaimer? Will it be obvious that it was recent? Will it ever feel not a little bit strange to say?

Oh, for my name we decided to go with names that started with the same intitials as my non-Hebrew name.

My Hebrew name is Kelila Aliza. The names mean "crowned" and "joyful."